Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Financial healing vs. debt relief

Recently, I was searching the WEB for support groups for "financial crisis" and "financial challenges".  I was doing this because I felt the need to see what people were going through and what kind of help was out there for them.  Although I did find some really interesting and helpful groups, I was very surprised by how little help there was for someone who was already knee deep into financial problems.

There were tons of sites for debt relief, credit counseling and debt consolidation, etc.  Even though I acknowledge that these are all steps in financial help, I was just shocked how little there was for, shall I call it, financial healing.  When you apply for debt relief, credit counseling and debt consolidation, you are still in the position of avoiding financial ruin.  Since I have experienced total financial ruin, I am interested in the amount of help out there for people who get to this stage.

I also realized that the reason there is so much help for the debt relief, etc. is because it is a money making machine.  All of these avenues cost money to be involved in them.  But, OK, some people really need it.  In the area of "financial healing" it is not a money making machine (not yet anyway) and there fore not near as big of an area of help.  Financial healing is about taking someone from the point of feeling that your life is worthless to the point of life is good and having money is not what makes it that way!  Financial healing is for someone to have the resources to talk to someone about how they feel about what is happening to them.  Financial healing is about releasing the shame that goes along with being in this state.  We need more help!

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Does "more" spending really help the economy?

I watched an interview the other night with a local anchorperson and President Obama.  I know that I have written before that I have no intention of being a political voice for or against any politicians.  That said, I am neither for or against President Obama but I do have opinions on things that he has done during his time as our President.  Personally, I feel that his intentions of the "Affordable Care Act" or what Americans call "Obama Care" were good and helpful to the American people however, I do not believe that you can overhaul our Healthcare system and still allow the insurance companies to continue to rape the American people.

From his stance, the President made some changes to our healthcare system that he thought would be beneficial.  The problem is that every major change like this that is put into effect by people who do not know what it is like to live on this economic (bankrupt) plane, have no idea the ripple down effect their changes have on people.  The big boy insurance companies decide that since Americans do not really understand what is going on with all of this change, now is the time to stomp on us.  Raise prices, lower benefits, become stricter on their formularies are all things that we are now facing because of the air of all this change.

In this particular interview, the president was asked about his wanting businesses to raise their minimum wage.  The reporter asked if that would not just push small businesses over the edge and out of business.  The president's answer was that if people were making more, they would be able to spend more.  I don't now if that is true or not.  Gasoline continues to rise, groceries are outrageously expensive, health insurance costs are through the roof and most people get less than 1% in a raise for a year.  Our basic needs are such a huge part of our budget that there is seriously nothing left.  Oh and did I mention that since businesses are being expected to raise minimum wage, guess what else will go up in price...all of these companies goods and services that WE purchase.

Why isn't more put on the news about the unbelievable greed of those one percenters who make huge amounts of money, have tons of tax breaks and ways to shelter that money and pay their employees peanuts! The insurmountable greed that goes along with a society whereby they think that stomping on the poor and middle class will make them look and feel so much better, is quietly accepted.  Why isn't the President talking about this?  Perhaps because he has no idea what it feels like to be at this economic level?  Of course, it is.  But spreading this falsehood that getting minimum wage upped will then help those people be able to spend more money making the economy better, is just hogwash!  Lowering the amount that us bottom feeders have to pay for basics would help us to be able to spend money!!!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Need your help!

I am calling on all my readers for your help.  I am in the process of writing another book about people who either become bankrupt or are dealing with financial ruin.  I am requesting your story whether it be about you or someone you know that is living this.  You will not have to write anything, but I will be asking you questions with an online questionaire.  I will not be using real names in the book unless someone wants me to.  If you are interested in being a part of this book, please send me a note by clicking on the right side of this page.

Thank you so much for considering doing this!

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

All the best laid plans

Recently, someone close to me has a niece whose house was involved in a fire.  The main fire happened at the townhouse next door to her townhouse whereby the walls were attached.  The niece's home was severely damaged and she was moved by the insurance company to a furnished apartment.  Of course, she was quite shaken over the incident!

In hearing her tell the story about what all transpired with the fire, one of the things that struck me was when she said, "I now realize how truly spoiled I am.  I thought I had everything in my life in order.  I have been very careful in my planning to make sure that everything would be taken care of and I have lived my life knowing that I have planned well.  However, I did not plan for this and I have no idea how to function because this was not in my plan.  I feel very lost and freaked out."

Now this woman is about the same age as me and over the past 20 years has been almost conceited about the fact that she has so much more money than us and enjoys her freedom from not having any children and is very smug about.  She walks around with her head held back wearing the most expensive clothes, purses and shoes looking down on the cheapness of the rest of us.  I am sure you get the picture!

If there is one thing that I have learned and learned well from going through what I have gone through is that you can't plan life!  People who think they can are, to say the least, a little bit insane!  They spend their life, money and time planning something that can't be planned and then, somehow, think they are better than most because they HAVE DEVISED A PLAN FOR THEIR LIFE!  It is like they think that the people who are able to stick to their plan are somehow, smarter and more deserving than others who have plans that go awry!  (like becoming bankrupt)

Life happens and shows up the way and the time it wants to show up.  You can't stop the ebb and flow of life because that is what living is all about. You can not dictate how your life is going to go and how it is going to end up.  All you can control is how you react to whatever happens in life.  Everything, and I mean everything can change on a dime and as soon as we realize that and except it, we would never spend another moment thinking our situation is any better than anyone else.  That would make for a much more peaceful existence.

Saturday, March 15, 2014


***MY APOLOGIES*** to all my readers.  I just recently found out that my "Join the site" button on my blog was not working.  I removed the button since it did not work.  At the very bottom of the blog, there is a place to sign up to get the blog posts sent to your email box if you would like to get them.  So sorry for any inconvenience.

A few years ago my sister had tongue cancer.  It was so difficult for me, her sister, to witness all the pain and uncertainty that she experienced.  She is cancer free and we are all very optimistic about her future.  Periodically she has to go back and get tests run to make sure there is nothing showing up either in the form of cancer or related to the therapy she received to eliminate it.  When the appointment time draws near, she finds herself feeling very vulnerable and anxious.  The results of the appointment can mean to continue life as she knows it or the uncertainty of her life having to face yet another health crisis.  The very thought of having to go through it all again can leave her in a state of upset.

This sort of vulnerability can attack the bankrupt/financially ruined person as well.  You just sort of keep living your life to the best of your ability hoping that you are in control of your money and that nothing is looming around the corner that make you feel that horrible feeling of uncertainty.  This feeling is a bit overwhelming when you have NO money to back up anything.  It almost feels like there might be something out their that bends me so far that I break, something that I can not fix!

I know that you are thinking, "After all you have been through how is it possible that something more could happen to cause you to break!".  Mind you, in general, I do not normally think like this.  But there are times when I experience something that I just did not see coming and until it is resolved, I feel so totally and utterly vulnerable.  To me, vulnerability means being in a state of uncertainty that you might not be able to handle a particular situation or you do not want to handle a particular situation should it occur.  It does seem ridiculous to be concerned about something that may or may not happen and there is no defending that.  However, when you have been to HELL and back, you just do not want to go back.

I do feel that I spent a lot of time and energy covering my butt to try to make sure I protect myself as much as possible from any "surprises".  On the other hand, with all I learned, I know that even though you try to protect yourself, life happens anyway.  Maybe I just need to accept whatever happens!

Friday, March 14, 2014

Where I was 7 years ago.

***MY APOLOGIES***  It just came to my attention that on my blog if you wanted to "join" the site, the button that you click to do that was not working.  I am so sorry to anyone of my readers who tried and were unable to join.  I changed the way for you to contact me if you wish and at the bottom of the page of all posts is a place to sign up for you to get my posts delivered to your email.

Yesterday, I came across a recording that I had made on my computer in 2007.  Mind you, in 2007 (omg that was 7 years ago) we were just starting to feel the financial struggle begin.  I knew at that time the the issues we faced had no quick fix.  I believe that it was at this time where I really started to feel scared...scared to death.  The bank had not yet taken the restaurant building and we were still paying a $2400 a month mortgage.  My husband was working at a job making a little over $9.00 an hour and I was not working due to the levy that was placed on my income.  I had no where to turn for help (help that I could afford) and had no idea what to do!

I made this recording of affirmations based on reading somewhere that if you told yourself that you had plenty of would find its way into your life.  I believed in that and to this day, I won't say that I don't believe in that even though it did not work for me.  Listening to myself saying these affirmations I, after 7 years, could hear it in my voice that I was saying these but I deep down inside did not believe what I was saying.  So how could it work?  How can you be so deeply in a financial ruin and saying affirmations like "I have plenty of money for everything I need" and make them believable? It seems like a double wammy!

Do not take me wrong, I am not opposed to thinking positive and having faith, in fact I am all for that!  I had just read "The Secret" and similar books that taught about the law of attraction.  I am sure that I attracted this financial ruin into my life somehow, someway.  But I did not know how to think and feel abundance when all I felt was lack!  Every part of my day brought on an awareness of lack and no matter how hard I tried to affirm differently, I just could not feel it.  I was instructed to FEEL GOOD first and then the changes would follow.  I was at the point that I did not even know what it felt like to FEEL GOOD!

Ironically, as I listened to the affirmations that I wrote for myself, they were all about "things".  Like "I see myself driving my brand new 2007 Red Dodge Magnum" and "I am making $50,000 a month" were some of the affirmations that I recorded.  You can just imagine how I chuckled when I heard that!  So all of my affirmations were about the accumulation of money and certain things.  They were not about feeling peace about my situation which, in looking back, is what I needed the most.  The reason why that is what I needed was because when you are at peace and can bring yourself into the present moment is when all of your wisdom reveals your answers.

In coming across those affirmations that seven years ago I thought would change my life, I realized how far I have come.  Those recordings were made before all the "shit hit the fan" and seven years later I have walked through all the shit and am somewhat amazed at how I have been able to heal.  The healing did not come from money, the healing came from the change of the way I thought about money and learning to be in the present moment.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

The Legacy I will pass down

Last week we were re-arranging our living room because my brother had given us his used big screen TV and we needed to make room for it.   In doing this, we had to take out everything from the bookcases in order to move them around.  I became extremely irritated in the process and I kept asking myself what was wrong with me.  I then realized that I was thinking of all the things that I had to sell when we lost our house.  I had a whole china cabinet filled with crystal, unique glasses in sets and plates.  I must have just taken one out of every set to keep for myself because I now owned a bunch of single glassware all mis-matched.

It became very apparent to me that I had buried how upset I was at getting rid of all those "things".  You know, I shouldn't be so concerned with "things".  Trying to figure this out, I also realized that I had collected all those "things" for years and years always thinking that it would all be passed down to my kids.  This was all the legacy that I would leave and now it was just a bunch of mis-matched glasses!  I was just very sad about this.

I was telling this to my brothers' girlfriend and she listened to me very patiently.  When I stopped with my sob story she grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eye and told me about the legacy she observed that I would be passing down to my children.  She told me that the wisdom that I have been blessed with that is filled with love, integrity and compassion is the legacy that I will pass on to my children and that those gifts are something that will never be sold, broken or stolen.  These gifts will be passed on no matter what happens in my life!  I thought about what she said, I realized that she was right!  I felt so much at peace!

The experiences that I have been through in my life most people would cringe about!  From the world's point of view, I have had a pretty shitty life.  But buried under all that "shit" is gold.  It isn't the kind of gold that you can trade in for money, but the kind that can not be lost and the value can not depreciate.  The experience of what I have been through and all the lessons that came along with it, quite simply, have no monetary value.  However, I have quite the legacy to hand down to my children and all the generations that come after!