Filling a hole

I was watching an interview on TV yesterday very early in the morning when I could not get back to sleep.  The interview was with Mike Tyson.  I think he was a professional fighter, maybe a boxer years ago.  He was very popular but I remember him having a very dark side and I think he spent some time behind bars.  I am sorry that I do not have the exact details of it all but I specifically remember him falling from his very high status.

In the interview he was asked about the amount of money he made in his hey day.  It was something like 6 million dollars.  The interviewer then stated that he spent all the money he had and then started spending money he did not have and became bankrupt.  Mike Tyson was shaking his head in shame.  He then said that he spent so much money on drugs that at some point he wasn't even able to keep track of what he needed every day.

Then he said something that struck me.  He said, "I spent all that money to fill a hole but the hole was never filled.  I had all that money but didn't have anything, anything that was real. Now I don't have that money and I feel like I have everything."  He was then talking about the hole and void, that you try to fill the hole with things and then when that doesn't work, you try to find a drug that will fill the hole.  You keep spending money on drugs in hopes to fill that hole.

You hear stories all the time about people who had so much money and lost it all.  I have to say, even though I did not ever have a lot of money and I never used it on drugs, I kind of understand.  Whether you lose 6 million or six thousand or six hundred, it is still losing!  And no matter how much you lose, you still have to start to rebuild.  But rebuilding with the same holes can be a huge mistake because you can end up in the same place.  This is why I think it is important to use bankruptcy as a healing process in the way you look at life.