Having a conversation with my Mom earlier, she asked me a very profound question that I just had to write about.
She asked me what I thought about people who had become bankrupt prior to me having any financial problems. Good question! My first reaction was to say that I felt bad for people that I heard were going through a financial ruin. But, I paused, and really thought about my answer so that I could answer truthfully. I then told my Mom the truth!
I would have been very judgmental of someone who I heard was bankrupt and I would have pointed out all the mistakes that I thought they made to get to this point. I would have had a feeling of "being better than" them a sort of superiority over them. I would have been afraid to ask them if there were anything I could do to help because I would have feared them asking me for money. If they would have asked me to help them with money, I would have, although I would have felt like I did not really want to. I probably would have avoided them just because I did not want to be asked for money. WOW!
Not only was I surprised that I was so truthful, but I was completely surprised at how I would have approached the subject! Then it dawned on me that this was how so many people who were very close to me must have felt about me. They probably wanted to avoid me because they did not want me to ask them for monetary help. They were probably afraid that if the just talked to me about the situation...that is where the conversation would lead.
After this conversation, I realized what had been bugging me for so long. I was aware of distance that people put between them and me and I was also very frustrated that people would not talk to me about it. I really only had two people close to me really talk to me about it and had any interest in listening. This is still a thorn in my side because it made me feel so alone! This new realization opened up a door of compassion both for myself and others.
As long as I live, from here on out, I will always open myself to anyone who I know that is dealing with a tragic financial burden. I will never be able to turn my back on someone else who is going through what I went through! Wow, I am blessed!